


it's your last cigarette (won't you please come home)

by amako



Series: ShikaSakuWeek 2017 [4]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Angst, Choices, Dubious Morality, F/M, Gen, Guilt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-22
Updated: 2017-09-22
Packaged: 2019-01-04 05:14:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,006
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12162258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amako/pseuds/amako
Summary: The small, rational part of her brain is telling her that everyone knows where she is. But hidden under the desk, bent over so that her forehead touches the ground, she can almost pretend that nothing happened.





	it's your last cigarette (won't you please come home)

**Author's Note:**

> Day Four: Power/Weakness  
> combined with a tumblr prompt from thekatthatbarks "You're trembling."
> 
> Title from Jimmy by Moriarty

The Hokage's office is a mess. It's filled to the brim with shouting shinobi, some of them on the brink of physical violence. The whole place is in chaos, killing intent filling the air and choking the people inside. And in the midst of it all, Sakura is kneeling on the floor, her back against the desk. The small, rational part of her brain is telling her that everyone knows where she is. But hidden under the desk, bent over so that her forehead touches the ground, she can almost pretend that nothing happened.

The people are getting louder, the waves of anxiety coming from Sakura affecting all of them and turning them into vicious versions of themselves. There's the sound of something shattering and cry of pain, cutting all the arguments. Then a brief moment of silence, before all hell breaks loose.

Kiba punches Sasuke square in the face, breaking his jaw and sending him flying to the wall. Naruto grabs Kiba by the vest and sends his knee straight to Kiba's ribs. Bent in half, he starts coughing before Hinata almost flies to Naruto, her precise palms blocking the chakra in his body and making him spit blood.

In any other situation, the senior jōnin might have tried to stop them. But they're fighting as well, with venomous words and traitorous attacks, nothing flashy and yet bad enough to make them bleed. Kurenai is the first to draw chakra, starting to cast a genjutsu. Before she can finish her jutsu, the door slams against the wall and a thunderous Shikaku marches inside the office.

Everything goes quiet. They all stop fighting, scrambling off the floor and wiping drying blood from split lips. Sakura feels the hysteria crawling up her spine and wrapping bony fingers around her throat. She desperately wants to cry.

Shikaku crosses the room, not looking once at any of them, and goes around the desk. He pushes the chair and crouches, his forearms resting on his knees. He stares at Sakura, still hunched over, her breathing ragged. He blinks once, twice, and extends a gentle hand. Slowly, he pries her clenched fists open and slips his hand in hers. He barely sets his jaw when her strength goes out of control and breaks the small bones.

Then, just as gently, he slips under the desk and manoeuvres her until he can wrap his arms around her waist from behind. With a small pressure, he gets her to sit straight, her back against his chest. Her breath hitches. She hiccups. And she starts screaming.

The sound is wretched, painful, and tears into the silence of the room. She screams and she doesn't cry, horror written on her features. She screams and Shikaku holds her tighter. She screams and the senior jōnin leave the room, followed by Kiba and Hinata. She screams and Naruto grabs Sasuke's hand, sobbing. She screams and Ino hugs Chōji and tells him to breath.

When she stops, her throat is dry and there is a drop of blood on the corner of her mouth. She falls back against Shikaku's chest, the back of her head on his shoulder. Only then does she notices the wet patches on her uniform, underneath his cheeks. She doesn't mention it, just like he doesn't mention what just happened. They stay under the desk while Naruto, Sasuke, Ino and Chōji pick up their pieces.

 

"I'm so sorry," she whispers, her vocal cords burning. "I'm sorry, Shikaku-sama, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

"Shhh." He holds her closer, rocking her gently. She's shaking.

"I'm sorry, gods, I'm sorry—"

 

There is the barest hint of chakra before a swirl of leaves appears in the room to leave a panting Tenten behind.

 

"He's waking up! You need to come, right now!"

 

The words are barely out of her mouth and the room is already empty.

 

The small hospital room is crowded. Around the bed, though, only Ino and Shikaku remain. Sakura is curled up against Sasuke's chest, in a hidden corner. Naruto took Chōji for a walk when it became clear that he wouldn't be able to watch anymore. The sight is horrifying.

Shikamaru is barely recognisable. Underneath layers upon layers of bandages, the barest inch of skin shows signs of discoloration and ugly scaring. Sakura talked with the medic in charge and they were working on finding him new eyes to transplant. That's the only good news. His missing leg would be more complicated to compensate for. As for his hands...

Sakura has already made a private oath to revolutionise the prosthetic world, but until she invents the next miracle, Shikamaru will be bound to a civilian life. You can't be a ninja without fingers to make seals.

Shikamaru's breathing pattern changes slightly and everyone tenses up. His mouth slowly opens and a broken sound escapes. Ino scrambles to make him drink a bit of water. He swallows with difficulty, and tries again.

 

"—k'ra. 'kura."

 

Shikaku turns towards the woman. She's frozen on the spot, one hand fisted in Sasuke's uniform while the other clenches in a devastating fist. She seems torn. A small frown appears on his face and he gestures for her to come closer. Without a word, Sasuke follows.

 

"—kura."

"Yeah, I'm here," she says, her hand brushing his forearm. He instantly relaxes, the ghost of a smile on his dry lips.

"Not your fault. Not, okay."

"Shika..."

"—ut up. Not your fault. Did wha' you had to do."

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry I left you, Shikamaru. You wouldn't be there if I hadn't prioritized the mission."

"Don't care. Did the right thing."

 

And she had. The information most likely saved the lives of every Konoha operative undercover in the Five Nations. She had saved more than six thousands lives with her decision. And had ruined the most important life in her eyes.

 

"You're trembling."

 

She gasps and her knees give out under her. Sasuke catches her and supports her as she collapses on Shikamaru's chest.

Then, only, does she start crying.

 


End file.
